Childcare

I am so tired of hearing others tell me how they don't have a babysitter but they parents always have their kids. Do they really understand not having someone to help you out when your child is sick or just need a babysitter.

Scott and I only have each other to watch Donovan. If Donovan gets sick one of us has to take off. We don't have the luxury like others to call parents or aunts. I mean I am not jealous but wish Scott and I had the luxury of calling someone to help. I mean when I had my c section I had no one to help. I only had Scott and he eventually went back to work. It was hard.

Scott and I pay childcare every week. It starts to add up, but we don't complain because we are so lucky to have Building Rainbows. Unfortunately a few people I know don't have to pay for childcare. I guess I am just frustrated to hear people tell me they know how I feel but they don't. I mean my brother and the mother of his children have free child care from my parents. Part of me is pissed and part of me is glad the kids have my parents. When the kids get sick my parents take off. I have no idea what the parents do but it isn't taking care the of the kids. I just don't understand.

Well I am glad to know that we have no been away from Donovan much. I just would hate to know I missed out on things.

Never think things are going well

I am not sure what to think anymore. I find that sorry is just a word. It has no real meaning to some of the people I come in contact with. I mean if you say sorry for something I think you would try not to do the thing again.
I guess I am trying to figure out what makes people tick. I mean how can you say one thing and do another. I am trying not to say to much, but I feel like I am always getting the run around so I am not questioning things.

What causes people to get addicted to things? I mean I know there are many who are addicted to alcohol and drugs. However, I mean other addictions weather it be shopping, hording,etc. I can't quite figure out how people get addicted. Is it low self esteem. No confidence. I mean what is causing them this. I probably should have some sympathy, but I have none. What causes people do get into bad habits.

I listen to my friends and their issues weather they be with their spouses, family memebers, children at school, parents of children, financial,etc. I wonder how they deal with it. Then I think maybe they are just not sharing.

One friend is unable to be alone. She is in the middle of a divorce. Her husband left her. I have told her many times that she needs to find herself, before she gets involved. However, I think the advice is falling on deaf ears. However, she only knows what is best for her. For me when I finally was away from a relationship, I need to get my life in order. Of course it took me a while, but feel like I somewhat have my life in order. Her first husband had some issues, then her second husband had issues with unmentionable sites on the internet. What made these two men do it? I mean I know they apologized, but it didn't stop them. How much does a person take when it comes to stuff like this.

I know that right now if I didn't have the word of God to believe in I would of already given up. I know my main goal in life is to make sure my children are taking care of. God's word allows me to see this, but there are times I am wondering why is he not working on my husband to see it. You know when things are good things are great, but when things are bad, they are oh so bad. I just want to scream right now. I want to write what I really mean, but I can't.

Another thing what makes someone so mad that they only have revenge on their mind. I mean get mad at me, but don't do something that your actions will get you in trouble. I mean when I get mad, I get mad and eventually get over it. I don't go looking for things that could cause a demise of things. I just don't know anymore. I am sure there is more to come later.

Life and its joys

I haven't written in a while so I am sure I have a lot to catch up on. I will do my best, but doubt that I will get everything down. I am at awe how my son cracks me up everyday. Here are a few examples:

1. He was laying in my bed with his daddy. I told Donovan he was not sleeping in my bed. His reply to me is.....mom..my ears are not listening.

2. Donovan knocks over some books. Who does he blame? Toto the dog. Poor Toto is getting blamed for everything.

3. Donovan doesn't want to pick up so he let me know I was crazy.

4. Yesterday we told Donovan he could not have a toy. He let us know we were not his friend and not to talk to him. I was more than happy to honor his request. Then he apologized.

He is growing like a weed. He keeps me on my toes. I wish I could bottle up his energy, but don't see that happening. I am assuming that if I could and every other mother we would be rich.

Today Donovan and I went to celebrate Liam's birthday. It was such a beautiful day. I will have to add a few pictures. We had a great time. He just was such a cutie. I was really proud of him of being nice and sharing with the other kids.

Here are a few pictures of us when it snowed here last week. He didn't want to look. It is really hard to see it snowed, but it did. He was being a little pill. At least he is my little pill.

Idiots

I am trying to figure out why we have so many idiots in this world. Do you wonder if you are married to one. Do you wonder if you work with any? What about if you live near idiots. Could you possibly be related to an idiot. I think I work with a few, and related to a few.

Promises are not promises if you can't keep it. Oh man. Sometimes I wonder if people know what is coming out of their mouth. I just want to scream. I want to scream very loudly, but everyone is a sleep.

Frustrated beyond no avail

Today was a teacher workday. I try really hard not to allow dumb people to make me mad, but didn't happen today. I am trying to figure out why a teacher is still at our school. I try my hardest to get along with people, but it ain't going to happen.

I have no problem of understand the team concept. However, I do have a problem when people say they are going to do something, but they always drop the ball. I wish I had the "I don't care" attitude. I just can't. I guess when people drop the ball it not just effects me, but it effects my kids.

Last week the reading team took off the day, to plan for TAKS and the 5th six weeks. Do you think we got that done. Well of course not. That would be too much to ask. I ended up helping Anna get her stuff done, because I don't think she understood what we were looking for. Once Anna was planned out, I just assumed my other co worker would work on Level one stuff. Well heck that would of been too much to ask. She spent most of her time emailing and just doing nothing for our reading students. I just wanted to scream. I also felt like I wasted the districts money on a sub when nothing was done.

Now fast forward to today. Well last night I planned out the rest of the six weeks that only took me about 30 to 40 minutes. We just need to put things down and finalize things. I get thank you for doing that. Which informed me of the things she said she would do she didn't. What a shock? Anyways she dropped the ball again. As we are talking about TAKS stuff for next week, she has not done her share. I am so livid because she gets away with doing nothing as usual. Why is that ok? I am so tired of complaining about it that I have decide as of today I am not saying anything more to her. I will do my own copies and things. I mean I have kept my tongue, but let me tell you my fist would like to do some talking. I have to go Zumba to get my aggression out. I am not sure how much longer I can take this. I am just going to be very laid back. ARGH!

Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day. I woke up to Donovan telling me "Thank you mom!, Thank you momma!" I was trying to figure out what this child was thanking me for. Then he gave me a hug and showed me the Valentine's day heart candy we got his dad. There was a note I left Scott with the candy. It said this is from Donovan. Happy Valentine's day. Well that goofy child saw his name and thought it was his. It was actually really funny. However, I had to fix that. I went and got Donovan's gift bag of Valentine's stuff. He was a little upset until he saw what was in there. He was happy and started telling me Thank you mom. I love it. Gosh I love that little boy. He is definitely a cutie.

Donovan and I went to the grocery store. It was actually fun even if he was a little aggravating with the little one. He picked out what he wanted for his lunches.

Scott bought me roses. They are beautiful.

Donovan and I played the Wii Fit. When he gets tired he lets me finish it for him. We laughed a lot because we were running so fast that the runner was tripping and falling. Such simple things to make my little one laugh.

Library Time

Yesterday after school I took Donovan to the library. He was so intrigued with the library that I was excited. He picked out three books. It was so sweet. He even put the library card in the reader to check out our books. I hope he becomes a great reader. I can keep my fingers crossed.

Donovan is having issues with sharing. I can't seem to get him to understand that he does not need to get frustrated with stuff. Hopefully everything comes in tomorrow that I can get him registered for school so he can go to speech class.

I actually went to bed early. It was so nice.

Not alot to write. I feel bad that I haven't been writing. Oh well.